ATC: Say altitude
Pilot: altitude
ATC: Say ALTITUDE
Pilot: ALTITUDE
ATC: Say 'Canceling IFR'
Pilot: Flightlevel 240
Aircraft queuing long time for take-off:
Pilot: I'm f*cking bored!
Tower: Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!
Pilot: I said I was f*cking bored, not f*cking stupid!
Pilot: Top of the morning, Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active runway.
Ground: Guten Morgen. You vill taxi to your gate.
The big British Airways 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?
Pilot: Stand by a moment, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now.
Ground: Speedbird 206, haff you never flown to Frankfurt before?
Pilot: Yes, I have, actually, in 1944. In another type of Boeing, but just to drop something off. I didn't stop.
ATC: Cessna 1774B What are your intentions?
Pilot: To get my Commercial Pilots License and Instrument Rating.
ATC: Cessna 1774B I meant in the next five minutes not years.
ATC: Alitalia 321, continue taxi to the holding position 20R south via tango. Check for workers along taxiway.
Alitalia 321: Roger, 20R via tango. Workers checked, all are working.
ATC: American 293, for noise abatement, turn right 45 degrees.
Pilot: But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?
ATC: Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?
Tower: Speedbird 772 You’re just left of the centerline
Pilot: Yes, and my co-pilot is just on the right